I went to mass at 7:30 like usual, The cold breeze was like the wind blowing of the refrigirator when you grab some food or sh*t like that.Everything Seemed so normal.... I almost made it to the courtyard when I saw him. He was the regular pimply face nice-guy senior. He was my friend. But still having felt contempt for this man. But why do you ask? The answer is relatively simple. This isn'y just any pimply faced nice guy senior... It was my crush's crush. As I walked passed them like a stranger. Unknowing of their presence, I turned to search for the one person that was my motive to even go to this mass. ('coz you see, The 7:30 mass really used to be my serving time. But times changed and i had to move to morning masses)I was searching for the person who often made me feel Melancholy and happy in the same time. It was my crush. Over the past months, Some serious sh*t had happened. Most of them somber. Least of them happy.I was able to spot her walking towards my direction with her friend. And like the Dickhead i was at the time I just bolted like a bunny. I tried to speak my mind off but it was like Jelly. So i turned to more easier methods... A high five?! what the F*ck! And it was quite apparent that she ain't goin' here! Instead she went towards the dude i was tellin you about. I felt like the sh*ts there. I was so silent, you could hear a needle falling. We spent most of the time there. So in other words... It F*ckin' sucked! I was like a Monument there just standing.('Coz you see that's the problem with her. she just can't F*ckin open up with me! she's such an introvert when she's with me! Can somebody do me a favor and tell that to her sometime!)I patiently waited for my opportunity to come. I was the hunter patiently waiting for the gate of opportunity to open. It came too late. She had to leave. I lent her a hand and told her that I could walk her home. but she said something like: "But my dads gonna kill me..". I don't know what happened to me, but something inside of me snapped. I kinda thought that I not gonna let you blow me off tonight! So I kinda said something like: "Don't worry, If you're dads gonna kill anyone he's gonna kill me.." I boxed her off! There was no loop hole.. For a second there, I kind of felt proud. Like Muhammad ali Knocking out a boxer in one of those pictures. The trip wasn't that exciting. it kinda reminds me charlie chaplain. Really goofy silent movie sh*t! She told me she woudln't be needing me to walk her further. so I stood like a statue once more for her. staring at her. watching... until she got in her house. In that very moment, My proud feelings sunk and started to be replaced by somber and more melancholy feelings. I kinda felt something wrong happened. It felt like I was in school walkin' around with a trail of toilet paper stuck to my shoe. I paused for a moment then started to walk back to the church. I met a couple of my buddies from the knights which I treated for some food in cuenca. I tried to tell them about my predicament but thy didn't understand. we wound up with talking about past things and past dreams. I gladly told my friend about havin dreams about her. he seemed to understand. He was kind of like a sponge. He would absorb things that I've been telling him then he would squeeze some back to me. I took the long route home that night so that I could thing of that night's events. what had happened and sh*t. But im still haunted ny that night. 'Coz I still think that I did something wrong.

posted by Wowie @ Monday, January 12, 2004